One thing that isn’t talked about enough when it comes to stepping into a leadership role, whether in sports, business, or life, is that it’s not always fun.
Is it a privilege? Absolutely.
Is it a great opportunity? 100%.
But here’s what else it is… it’s a weight on your shoulders. It’s pressure. It’s expectations. And sometimes, it means people won’t like you.
Sometimes, you’re in a position where you don’t know what the right decision is, but you still have a room full of people looking at you, waiting for you to decide, so they can follow your lead.
When I was in my third season at the University of Florida, I faced exactly that. Our program was struggling with leadership from above. The staff that year weren’t the right fit, and I realized someone needed to step up before things got worse.
I was living thousands of miles from home, navigating life on my own, and I didn’t feel ready to lead a group of 20+ people who were just as overwhelmed as I was. The doubts crept in: Why should they listen to me?
But the overwhelming sense of responsibility to take control pushed through. I started to distance myself from the false ideas of what a leader “should” look like, let go of the fear of conflict or pleasing everyone, and focused on learning what effective leadership really meant.
By the end of my college career, I’d earned our team’s leadership award in back-to-back year. More importantly, I’d found my passion for leadership and mindset training.
Here are what I believe to be the three biggest reasons most leaders struggle, and how to lead with confidence.
1. They Think Leadership Means Being Loud
One of the biggest misconceptions is that the best leader is the loudest in the room.
In reality, effective leadership comes from consistency and empathy, not volume.
When people know you’re going to show up every day with the same work ethic, attention to detail, and genuine care for them, they’ll naturally follow you.
When I was a rookie at UF, I played alongside a senior who was about to graduate and move on to big things. She could have focused solely on her own future, but instead, she made every first-year feel welcome. She listened when we had questions or frustrations. She never cut corners, completed every rep, and upheld the standard daily.
She was one of the quietest people on the team, but her leadership presence was undeniable.
In a business context, this might look like the colleague who always delivers, mentors others without seeking credit, and maintains composure under stress. You don’t need a megaphone to be a leader, you need consistency and integrity.
2. They Don’t Know How to Handle Conflict
Conflict is one of the hardest things to navigate as a leader… But it’s unavoidable.
Whether you’re dealing with disagreements between teammates, tension between departments, or misalignment with upper management, the ability to address conflict head-on is non-negotiable.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is this: you cannot please everyone. And the moment you try, you risk losing the respect and trust of the very people you’re trying to lead.
Leadership researcher Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind.” Avoiding hard conversations often causes more harm than stepping into them with compassion and clarity.
Sometimes you have to make a decision that’s best for the group, knowing full well it might upset one or more people. When you accepted your leadership role, you took on the responsibility of prioritizing the collective over the individual.
Lead with clarity, not comfort.
3. They’re Leading Alone
Leadership is hard enough without feeling isolated.
In both sports and business, leaders are often handed responsibility without the training, resources, or support to succeed. That isolation can lead to burnout — or worse, silence. Neither helps the team.
That’s why it’s so important to have mentorship, workshops, or frameworks in place to develop leaders. If you hired a construction company to build a house, you wouldn’t expect them to show up on Day 1 without tools. The same applies to leadership.
There’s a lot of untapped leadership potential out there, not because people aren’t capable, but because they’ve never been equipped.
Final Thoughts
Being a leader in any context doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means showing up, consistently, even when it’s hard.
If you or your team want the tools and support to lead with confidence, whether in sport, business, or life, I’d love to help.